Three months after Christopher was born, I was sitting in my office when I heard the sound of Woody's voice coming from the hallway. Earlier she had told me that she had some errands to run before making a trip out to Wilford Hall so I had no idea she was coming to my office for a visit. Greeting me she slipped a plastic disk into my hand that had a positive symbol on top. I had only seen one of these once before and I immediately remembered its significance.
"I'm pregnant," she said in a somewhat solemn voice waiting to see my reaction.
My feelings were immediately split. I felt joy knowing that we were going to have another child but my overwhelming feeling was one of irresponsibility. How could we have another child when our first child was so sick and still in the hospital? Besides, how could Woody get pregnant so soon? The pressure of the NICU and the long, stress-filled days had yielded few moments of intimacy. I also remember hearing that there was little chance of pregnancy following the birth of a child when you are breastfeeding. Woody had been expressing and storing her milk for use when Christopher was well enough to receive a tube feeding. Six months later, Woody and I would stand over Christopher's grave. Woody, her abdomen now showing the new baby in her womb, looked radiant despite enduring this moment of deep loss. We never saw this day coming. But He knew of this day. Like every moment of Christopher's life, He set everything in order.
Three months later, our second child, Melissa Anne (one who seeks the Lord with all her heart), was born. Her arrival softened our loss and our questions of God's timing for the pregnancy were long forgotten. Following her birth, the Lord granted us three more children, Jonathan David (beloved gift of the Lord), Daniel Caleb (faithful son of God), and Megan Elizabeth (great worshipper of the Lord).
As I initially worked to complete this writing, Woody became pregnant with our sixth child and then miscarried the baby at eight weeks. As I sat in an empty waiting room of the hospital while she was losing the baby, His Presence settled over me again. And I found myself surrendering another area of my life to His care. A friend, who the Lord had privileged me to share the gospel with two weeks prior, came to be with me. Though he did not realize it, his words prophetically confirmed what the Lord had whispered to my heart just moments prior. It was so difficult losing this second child but we left the hospital with the joy and the peace that only His Presence can bring.
A year later, Michael Josiah (faithful Godly leader) was born the morning after Jonathan’s 5th birthday, three months prematurely. Early in the pregnancy Woody had a bleeding episode where her doctor believed she miscarried a twin but she had no other complications leading up to Michael’s premature birth. She was bleeding severely when she woke me up in the middle of the night with what turned out to be a placenta abruption. We called my parents and asked them to come to our house and be with our children as we slipped out in the dark of night to drive to the emergency room. A quick examination led to an emergency caesarean section and a premature baby at 2 pounds, 10 ounces – almost identical to Christopher in prematurity and weight. I watched from the head of the operating table as they showed me Michael and quickly carried him off for to the NICU in a manner eerily similar to Christopher’s birth. Could we endure a time like that again? Michael’s NICU stay was blessed by God as there were no major complications other than a propensity for apnea – a trait common among premature babies. He graduated from the NICU on an apnea monitor a few weeks after his original due date. His respiratory and medical care had roots from the research conducted on Christopher.
Following a 3rd miscarriage, Woody was able to carry one more child to term, Andrew Joshua (strong leader of our Savior). After seven caesarean sections and three miscarriages, Woody’s doctor advised us that any further pregnancies would be life threatening. With Woody’s childbearing behind, we have moved forward with the tremendous gifts that God has granted. Each child has brought new joy and amazement of His love and graciousness.
A year following Christopher's death, God gave me a verse from the book of Psalms. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, 'My refuge and my fortress! My God in whom I trust!'" (Psalm 91:1-2)
Over time I have found this verse to teach me that as I rest in His will, I can be sure that His Presence is always near to me. To be in the Presence of the Almighty God, we must first find rest in His will. And as Abraham, Moses, and Paul, as well as Corrie Ten Boom, George Mueller, Hudson Taylor, Bruce Olsen, and countless others have found, His dwelling place is a refuge in times of trouble, and a fortress of protection against the attack of the enemy. Again and again we continue to experience the joy of walking in God's Presence. At each place we reach out to Him in faith, He shows Himself faithful in ways we could never imagine. The lessons He taught us through Christopher's life now serve as reminders of His faithfulness.
I pray everyone who reads this will not be deceived to simply take on the garment of Christianity. To walk in the Presence of the Almighty God is to live each day in faith; receiving His blessings, enduring His sufferings, while discovering the joy and peace that comes from both.
May you be blessed as you walk in His Presence.
Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.
© Copyright 1987, 2016 by Rick Murata. All Rights Reserved.
"I'm pregnant," she said in a somewhat solemn voice waiting to see my reaction.
My feelings were immediately split. I felt joy knowing that we were going to have another child but my overwhelming feeling was one of irresponsibility. How could we have another child when our first child was so sick and still in the hospital? Besides, how could Woody get pregnant so soon? The pressure of the NICU and the long, stress-filled days had yielded few moments of intimacy. I also remember hearing that there was little chance of pregnancy following the birth of a child when you are breastfeeding. Woody had been expressing and storing her milk for use when Christopher was well enough to receive a tube feeding. Six months later, Woody and I would stand over Christopher's grave. Woody, her abdomen now showing the new baby in her womb, looked radiant despite enduring this moment of deep loss. We never saw this day coming. But He knew of this day. Like every moment of Christopher's life, He set everything in order.
Three months later, our second child, Melissa Anne (one who seeks the Lord with all her heart), was born. Her arrival softened our loss and our questions of God's timing for the pregnancy were long forgotten. Following her birth, the Lord granted us three more children, Jonathan David (beloved gift of the Lord), Daniel Caleb (faithful son of God), and Megan Elizabeth (great worshipper of the Lord).
As I initially worked to complete this writing, Woody became pregnant with our sixth child and then miscarried the baby at eight weeks. As I sat in an empty waiting room of the hospital while she was losing the baby, His Presence settled over me again. And I found myself surrendering another area of my life to His care. A friend, who the Lord had privileged me to share the gospel with two weeks prior, came to be with me. Though he did not realize it, his words prophetically confirmed what the Lord had whispered to my heart just moments prior. It was so difficult losing this second child but we left the hospital with the joy and the peace that only His Presence can bring.
A year later, Michael Josiah (faithful Godly leader) was born the morning after Jonathan’s 5th birthday, three months prematurely. Early in the pregnancy Woody had a bleeding episode where her doctor believed she miscarried a twin but she had no other complications leading up to Michael’s premature birth. She was bleeding severely when she woke me up in the middle of the night with what turned out to be a placenta abruption. We called my parents and asked them to come to our house and be with our children as we slipped out in the dark of night to drive to the emergency room. A quick examination led to an emergency caesarean section and a premature baby at 2 pounds, 10 ounces – almost identical to Christopher in prematurity and weight. I watched from the head of the operating table as they showed me Michael and quickly carried him off for to the NICU in a manner eerily similar to Christopher’s birth. Could we endure a time like that again? Michael’s NICU stay was blessed by God as there were no major complications other than a propensity for apnea – a trait common among premature babies. He graduated from the NICU on an apnea monitor a few weeks after his original due date. His respiratory and medical care had roots from the research conducted on Christopher.
Following a 3rd miscarriage, Woody was able to carry one more child to term, Andrew Joshua (strong leader of our Savior). After seven caesarean sections and three miscarriages, Woody’s doctor advised us that any further pregnancies would be life threatening. With Woody’s childbearing behind, we have moved forward with the tremendous gifts that God has granted. Each child has brought new joy and amazement of His love and graciousness.
A year following Christopher's death, God gave me a verse from the book of Psalms. "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, 'My refuge and my fortress! My God in whom I trust!'" (Psalm 91:1-2)
Over time I have found this verse to teach me that as I rest in His will, I can be sure that His Presence is always near to me. To be in the Presence of the Almighty God, we must first find rest in His will. And as Abraham, Moses, and Paul, as well as Corrie Ten Boom, George Mueller, Hudson Taylor, Bruce Olsen, and countless others have found, His dwelling place is a refuge in times of trouble, and a fortress of protection against the attack of the enemy. Again and again we continue to experience the joy of walking in God's Presence. At each place we reach out to Him in faith, He shows Himself faithful in ways we could never imagine. The lessons He taught us through Christopher's life now serve as reminders of His faithfulness.
I pray everyone who reads this will not be deceived to simply take on the garment of Christianity. To walk in the Presence of the Almighty God is to live each day in faith; receiving His blessings, enduring His sufferings, while discovering the joy and peace that comes from both.
May you be blessed as you walk in His Presence.
Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.
© Copyright 1987, 2016 by Rick Murata. All Rights Reserved.