1 Chronicles 16:11 says "Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always." Many mornings I recorded my prayers in a prayer notebook. Here is a small sampling of my prayers that I hope will provide a glimpse into the heart of a frail young man as I was seeking the heart of the Almighty Father.
December 6 - Upon coming to an understanding that I was to no longer to teach the college class:
April 12 - After receiving word that Christopher would not survive the week:
April 13 - Learning to pray for God's will:
April 15 - A few days later as death appeared imminent:
April 18 - After walking through the "valley of the Shadow of death"
April 30 - Trying to lay our concerns on the altar:
May 9 - Upon learning that Woody was pregnant:
August 29 - Following a lengthy absence from this journal:
September 3 - Following the death of a baby in the nursery:
September 25 - The day following his death:
Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.
© Copyright 1987, 2016 by Rick Murata. All Rights Reserved.
December 6 - Upon coming to an understanding that I was to no longer to teach the college class:
Lord, I believe I have come to a decision concerning my role in youth ministry - that is to continue serving in a sponsor's role and turn over the directorship to the person that You have been preparing this ministry for. Father, I praise You for what You have taught me about worship these past three months. I pray that something that I've said in these classes will inspire people to a closer walk with You. I praise and worship You.
April 12 - After receiving word that Christopher would not survive the week:
Lord, From a very worldly point of view, yesterday's conversation with the doctor was the last news that I would want to hear. But Father, I thank You that You have walked through this with us and gave me an unrealistic and unworldly faith concerning Christopher. I believe it's at those places where all attempts have been exhausted that You perform Your mighty works. Lord, I pray for abundant life in His body, I pray for a healing and growing of new lung tissue, I pray for his brain to be nourished and function properly, I pray for his eyes and ears that they not be hurt by the medications or high oxygen, I pray for the nutrition to be the most he can absorb. Father, I praise You for his feedings. I know they told us it wasn't possible for his feedings to go well on the high frequency, but I know that You accomplish the impossible. I praise You Father and ask again that You place angels to care and watch over him Lord.
April 13 - Learning to pray for God's will:
Lord, There exists within me a place of faith and doubt. I have begun to learn, and maybe wrongly so, that our petitions before You may contradict Your plans and therefore go unanswered. Sometimes when I pray, You answer instantly and miraculously. Other times You answer my prayer over a long period of time, and other times You don't seem to answer at all. I guess my major problem is that I don't seek after Your perfect will and have You pray through me. Lord, I want to be a man after Your own heart. I want to be a man whose words never fall to the ground.
Lord, I thank You for giving me a son. Father, I pray that You bless him and comfort him. Lord, despite all of his problems, I have kept the faith and have tried to understand. Lord, I believe You brought him this far along, not to let him perish, but to bring him forth from his grave clothes.
April 15 - A few days later as death appeared imminent:
Lord, There is something about death that brings about fear in all of us. I know things don't appear good for Christopher. And even though my spirit and heart cry out to You, I am not sure whether I should plead for his life. Last night as I looked upon him, I realized that he truly is fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank You for that knitting that was interrupted. Lord, my eyes and heart haven't turned away from You in this time of trouble. I look to You for my strength and for wisdom and I know that our time here on earth isn't guaranteed. I just pray that You comfort Christopher. My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
April 18 - After walking through the "valley of the Shadow of death"
Lord, If yesterday is what You meant by having me read though Psalms 23, I now understand. Yesterday, death encountered me and the overwhelming thought of losing my son became real. Father, Your love is gracious and You are slow to anger and You are righteous in all of Your ways. Thank You for providing life once again. Lord, I pray that You continue to heal his body and make him whole.
Lord, praises leave my mouth as You have delivered my son once again from the hand of death. I thank You for the peace and comfort that You offer us in times of trouble. I ask that You shower Christopher with Your love and comfort. Lord, I praise You for protecting him from what doctors told us would be imminent death. No Lord, I was not there when You created this world and all that is in it, but I marvel at the works of Your hand and the abundance of Your love.
April 30 - Trying to lay our concerns on the altar:
Lord, Well, last night I guess we kind of royally failed You. I truly want to place all of my trust in You but when I see something wrong I guess I feel obligated to speak out. I pray that You understand.
Lord, Your invention of the eye is marvelous but I guess I'm nervous since it appears that Christopher can't see. I know there are several disorders that can cause blindness or partial blindness but I ask You to watch over his eyes and make them whole. There seems to be a focus and concentration on just one part of him and we're grateful for that, but our concern is over the whole body. Lord, Your word teaches that it is better to have hope and faith in You rather than riches. Once again, I'm giving all of my frustration and fears over to You.
May 9 - Upon learning that Woody was pregnant:
Lord, I can only say that yesterday's news was quite shocking but I praise and thank You for another child. I ask that like Christopher, You skillfully weave this baby. I pray that You help Woody to make wise decisions concerning her diet, exercise, and rest. Lord, thank You again for the progress that Christopher is making. And considering the news, I pray even more that You help him to continue to improve and get out of the hospital. Lord, we want so badly to bring him home so that we can spend time with him before the arrival of our next child. We praise and bless You and call upon You even more. Help us Oh Lord to be upright, God fearing, responsible parents. I praise and honor You. Amen
August 29 - Following a lengthy absence from this journal:
Lord, It's been nearly three months since I've purposed to spend this time with You. I went back and read all the prayers in this book that I've lifted before You and I really sense that I have developed the heart of a father. Lord, Your hand has always been there resting upon us during this time of great need and we thank You for Your love and peace that has been poured out upon us. Father, You told us to watch for the physical signs of the times as the birth pains to Your second coming. In the same manner, we can't help but be overwhelmed by the things happening to Christopher. We no longer see the lower pressures or oxygen requirements. Father, we see death close by and are frightened. We want so much for him to live but more and more we are learning to submit to allowing Your will to be done. There remains a glimmer of hope in Your prophecy through Jeremiah 33 and Exodus but it is greatly overwhelmed by the circumstances. But that's faith isn't it? We love and honor You Lord and pray that we are good stewards of You. Bless Christopher, give him peace and comfort and love.
September 3 - Following the death of a baby in the nursery:
Lord, I lift up Janet and John. Father we thank You for receiving Bret into Your kingdom but I feel so much for those parents. Lord, touch them and give them an understanding of Your peace and Your ways. I love and praise and honor Your name. I don't understand why things happen the way they do but I praise and honor Your Holy name, for Your purposes are eternal. Oh Lord, give us the strength to look to You and call upon Your name and surrender to Your will.
September 25 - The day following his death:
Lord, I never thought it would end like this. Somehow deep inside me I had hope that You were going to intervene. I know that was our deepest desire. Oh how You've shown me how precious life is. And You've given me a glimpse of how You felt at Calvary. And I know that life goes on. Thank You precious Father for our son, Christopher David. Oh we loved him so much and we hated to say "good-bye" but You had the best plan for him. We accept that and only ask that You help us to deal with the loss in a Godly manner. I praise and honor You for being my God. Please comfort Woody during those times that she has to be alone and help her to never blame herself for anything.
Scripture quotations taken from the NASB.
© Copyright 1987, 2016 by Rick Murata. All Rights Reserved.